yesterday i did end up bawling at school, thankfully there are only 2 girls in my afternoon class! i went to the eye shop on my break and of course it was closed for the time being, came back to school and had forgotten something in the taxi and just fuck fuck fuck, what the hell, who the hell am i and why is this my life, this melange of shit that I cannot seem to keep together. I don't know, I have had some interesting moments and I was sad on Wed night, but I feel better I suppose. I really do love it here though and the people, and my problems have nothing to do with what is around me but rather I feel like I am creating all of these issues for myself but alas, cannot spend forever dwelling on it.
There was going to be an excursion to the Sahara this weekend but not enough people signed up, which is actually ok because I was really stresses as that is one of the thngs i MUST do and I was not going to get my glasses before we would have left. I want to go to see the stars, to see the moon, to feel and be alone in a kind of peace that well, I would like to experience around a lot of sand and clear skies. Alas, there will be another opportunity.
Sometimes I feel so fast, I can think and think and I will land in a hole, and I do not know. Enough of this, thankfully I have had too many other things to do to really be fully engulfed in whatever is going on in my mind.
Yesterday after school was a nice day. We went to the souks again and then where I live, got pizza and stuff and went to another apartment and it was fun but I left around 11 or something with two other people as I had a quiz today and since I am in a class by myself in the morning for grammar, I didn't really want to show up being an idiot.
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I cannot believe it is December 16. When I look outside, I see a sunshine so bright and weather so nice, and I think of the cold the isolation in Virginia. This time last year I was not feeling or doing very well, I would only have Sarah or Amanda see me and Lisas trips in and out of rehab began the day after my birthday. It is nice to be away, but I am pissed that my other sister Jamie cannot do little things like take back my library books, as I now have accumulated a huge fine. Whatever.
Whattt elseee. I really like where I live, it makes the distain for Virginia grow. I have signed up for classes next semester and then in the summer I am planning on a Holy Land cruise, Italy with Amanda, and then moving *let's hope to God, to New York.
I love both of my rommates (one, the girl from South Korea, moved with a host family this week, and Gi proposed that I go to France with her for Christmas. I am thinking about it!!!
I still cannot see very well, obviously, as I have yet to get my new glasses, but there aer trees outside of the window facing me and the flowers are red and tulip=ey and they look very nice. It is a nice day, I have a nice life, I am thankful for said nice life.
